“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down…”
“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind…”
“But friendship is precious, not only in the …
Friendship Quotes
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“Best Friends listen to what you don’t say….”
“People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is….”
“Friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but …
Halloween Jokes
Halloween Jokes {Very Funny Halloween Jokes}
Some of these jokes are very ‘bat’ some might even say it is ‘scary’. 🙂 There are more Halloween jokes here.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What is a Mummies’ favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A. A human bean.
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boogie.
What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.
What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul
Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.
Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn’t have a hunting license.
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had nobody to dance with.
Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.
Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.
Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat? A. Because of the coffin.
Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.
What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghost.
Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.
What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.
What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day? A. Bone-bones in a heart-shaped box.
What is ghosts’ favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.
What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!
Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.
What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed
What is a ghost’s favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com!
Who was the most famous witch detective? A. Warlock Holmes
What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A. Scream or sugar!
Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones.
Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon Bone-apart
Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.
Where do most werewolves live? A. In Hollywood, California
Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Carolina.
Where does a ghost refuel his porch? A. At a ghastly station.
What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogie man.
What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray
What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deadly
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss
- How do you scare a mummy A. with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy?
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby
- What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a squash? A. a squashed pumpkin pie.
- Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It’s drafty under that sheet.
- What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE.
- What do ghosts eat for breakfast? A. Boo-Berries.
- What is a vampires favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com!
Q: Why did’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.
- Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!
- How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck.
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- What songs does Dracula hate? A. “You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.
- What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A. Ok, that’s a wrap.
- How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.
- What is a vampires least favorite food? A.Steak
- What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem.
- Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula? A. He has a bat temper.
- Why did Dracula go to the dentist? A. He had a fang-ache.
- Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night.
- Who does Dracula get letters from? A. His fang club.
- What kind of key does a skeleton use? A. A skeleton key.
- What kind of gum do ghosts chew? A. Boo Gum.
- Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A. To stop his coffin.
- Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes? A. Sandals don’t look good with his tuxedo.
- How do you keep a monster from biting his nails? A. Give him screws.
- What can’t you give the headless horseman? A. A headache.
- Why did the headless horseman go into business? A. He wanted to get ahead in life.
- What is a ghosts favorite sale? A. A white sale.
QWhat kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A. A boo-tie.
What’s a ghosts favorite desert? A. Boo-berry pie.
- What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound!
What’s a monster favorite dessert? A. I-Scream!!
ST PERSON: KOCK, KOCK 2ND PERSON: WHO’S THERE ST PERSON: PHILLIP 2ND PERSON: PHILLIP WHO? ST PERSON: ÊFILL UP MY BAG WITH CANDY !!! 2ND PERSON: HA, HA, HA (LOL) Q. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A. So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
When does a ghost have breakfast? A. In the morning.
What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A. Coffee with cream and sugar.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? A. Mali-boo.
Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boogie.
Where did the ghost get its hair done? A: At the boo-ty shop.
Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin.
What do they teach in witching school? A. Spelling.
Why does a witch ride a broom? A. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
What do you call a witch’s garage? A. A broom closet.
What do you call two witches living together? A. Broommates.
Why don’t mummies take vacations? A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? A. Spelling
Why can’t Boy Ghosts make babies?? A: Because they have Hollow-Weenies!
Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street? A. He was dying to get to the other side!!
Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get boooooo-ze.
Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get sheet-faced.
What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car? A. Fasten your sheet belts.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn’t have the guts.
- What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad? A. Ground him
- Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bad breath.
Why don’t ghosts have bands? A. They get booooooooooed.
What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A. A cereal killer.
Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A. The what wolves, the werewolves and the when wolves.
What did the bird say on Halloween? A. Trick or tweet!
Why do skeletons drink milk? A. To help their bones!
What’s a Vampire’s least favourate song? A. Another one bites the dust!
What is a Skeleton’s favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone
What’s a ghost’s favourite type of car? A. A boo-ick
Where do ghost go for fun? A. To the boo-vies
What’s a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room
What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Haloween? A. Can I have the keys to the broom tonight.
What do u get when there is a witch in the desert? A. You get a sandwich.
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A.it raises their spirits.
- Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: A nectarine
What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite
What do ghosts call their girlfriends? A. There could friends.
How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!
What did the goblin say to the witch? A. I don’t know you tell me!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party? A. Because he had nobody to go with.
What is a ghost’s favorite band? A. The Boos Brothers
What did Dracula have for dessert? A. Whine & Ice scream
What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant? A. Murder King
What is a Ghost’s favorite food? A. hamburgers
What is in a ghost’s nose? A. Boogers
What was the mummies’ vacation like? A. Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us.
What did that boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A: You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!
Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A. Because people are dying to get in.
What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A. A pumpkin patch!!!
Where do vampires keep their money? A: The blood bank!!!
Who are some of the were-wolves cousins? A. The what-wolves and when-wolves.
What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? A. They suck! (Or they bite!)
